Monday, 11 May 2015

Control the Controllable

Every one you ask, will tell you that I am a worrier. A planner. A little bit of a control freak. I over think everything, play out various scenarios in my head, imagine a million possible outcomes for just about every situation I am faced with. Looking back, I've kinda always been like this. I like knowing (pretty much exactly) what to expect from what I am going through.

To put it frankly, it is exhausting! I have realised lately that I can not possibly control every aspect of every moment of every day of my life. I can not possible predict every reaction that other people have to a scenario. I, personally, have no way to control the global job markets, to influence someone's health, to manipulate someone else's circumstances.

In the past few weeks, I had someone special tell me that their motto in life is 'Control the Controllable'. How true isn't that thinking? In any given scenario, there are only a few factors that we really, truly, have control over, only a few aspects we can influence. No matter how much we worry, and stress, and over think, there will always be situations outside of our control.

What do we gain by constantly worrying about situations that we can not influence? What can we possibly wish to achieve from all this constant stress about things we can not control? How does that help you as a 'control freak', if you have no control over most of the outcome anyway? These realisations hit home for me over the past week, and I have decided it is an area of my life I would like to work on. Yes, I am still allowed being prepared for situations that may arise, but I will no longer spend countless hours in a tizzy about things that are out of my control.

I hope I can inspire you to do the same.

As always, remember that happiness is a choice! 

Sunday, 3 May 2015

When happiness is not simply a choice

I always tell people that happiness is a choice, that it is as simple as deciding to be happy, and having that feeling manifest itself in your life... But I have realised lately that it isn't always that simple. What is, no matter how hard you try, you can't muster that feeling of happiness? What happens if you can't shake that sadness, can't wish that heartache away...

I know that I have been quiet on here lately, and this realisation is exactly the reason why. I have been in an unshakable funk for the past few weeks, and I couldn't muster the energy to preach happiness if I wasn't feeling happiness in my life. After tossing around post ideas with my little sister (Hi Sis!) a few weeks ago, she told me to just write and see where I come. I spent a while after that looking for some way to write a post brimming with inspiration and love, but I kept coming up blank. Eventually, I realised that writing about my current feelings might be exactly the therapy I need to get my groove back.

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed lack of focus and direction, jumbled thoughts, loss of interest in my friends and family.  I started dreading most of the things that usually bring me joy. I lacked energy. I felt like I was just going through the motions, and it took me a while to realise that what I was feeling was a form of depression. Now, the reason for my sudden de-motivation is unknown, but I do know that I am going to take it as a learning curve, and turn it into a positive experience.

As with anything in life, I think the first step towards any healing is to realise that there is a problem. Knowing myself well enough meant that I realised I wasn't feeling like myself. I had a few people close to me also point out that they had noticed me withdrawing. I was able to pick up the signs, before they lead to potential disaster.

Sometimes, what we need most, is a bit of self love. When we know ourselves well enough to realise that we need help, we can make sure that we are open to receiving that help. Take it easy on yourself, give yourself time and space to work through your emotions. Say 'no' to people, to obligations that would further stress you out. Confide in someone close to you that you are struggling. Take all the time you need to work through the situation, but don't allow yourself to be caught up in it. Analyse it, acknowledge it, deal with it, and then move on.

Spend time on what you love, while you let yourself heal. Indulge in a good cup of tea, read a good book, eat a chocolate, whatever will make you happy in those small moments. Make sure you know that this situation, these feelings you are struggling with, are just temporary, and that they do not define who you are.

Take the opportunity to regroup, and refocus on your goals. Never doubt your self worth, or your potential, not even in your weakest moments.

You are a powerful being, created to do more and achieve more than you ever thought possible. Stronger than you know, more determined than you think, you are more than just your current situation, you are more than your temporary feelings of weakness. Each time that you fight a personal battle and come out stronger, you prove to yourself, and to the world, that you are a force to be reckoned with. A beautiful, caring, loving, powerful force, ready to go on and make a difference in the world.

So remember, happiness may be a choice, but it remains your choice, your battle to fight, to come out on top.

Love always!

*Disclaimer - this post is based on my personal experience. If you struggle with depression, please seek professional help. You are loved! *