I remember spending that morning overcome with more emotions then I knew how to express. I remember the fear, the uncertainty, the worry. I remember clearly how shaky I felt, sitting next to my mom who was my greatest support on that day. I remember wondering the direction my life would move in, after this big step was finalized.
The months leading up to this momentous day were emotionally some of the toughest I have ever experienced. I was on an emotional roller-coaster that I felt would never end. One minute, I was filled with hope and a future, the next I would be in the middle of an anxiety attack about what my future might hold. I was losing so-called 'friends' left and right, had to move house, went through financial difficulty, I was worried sick about our future, all while putting on a brave face and keeping it together for the sake of my two little boys. I spent many nights crying after they were asleep, questioning every decision that lead up to that place in my life. Some days, I wondered how I would ever get through it all...
Today, a year later, I look back over a life that I never thought I would deserve. I think about the wonderful people I have met, the amazing friends I have been blessed with, the family that has stood by me and rooted for me every step of the way. I look forward to a possible career change that is beyond anything I have ever dreamed of. I remember adventures that I never would have thought to experience.
I am amazed at the change and growth that I could go through in only 1 year. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my life would turn out the way it has. Never would I have thought I would be sitting where I am at the moment, but, looking back, I wouldn't want to change a single minute of it.
Each of us is born with a spark of brilliance within us, a tiny flicker of hope that we mostly forget is there. It is in the darkest times of our lives that this tiny little flame burns brightest. It is in the night time of our lives that we use this little flame to guide us. It is in the midnight hours that this little flame burns brightest. No matter what your personal circumstances are, no matter how dark they seem, trust in this flicker within you, trust that it will burn bright enough to light your way out.
Hope is the strongest human emotion, and without it, we are nothing.
Stay strong dear readers, no matter what you are going through.
And remember, happiness is a choice.